Pitter Patter

loving my pink rain boots ♥

So lately the weather has been shit. And it's always extremely horrible especially when I have to go out. The winds are at 137682314823 mph and it rains so your whole body gets wet despite carrying an umbrella (an umbrella is close to useless in this weather). When you're curled up at home, all you hear is the howling wind huffing and puffing on the windows as though if they were trying to break in. And the branches that hit against the side of the house? Don't get me started. They sound so scary! Especially when no one's at home :S The weather really gives you the feel that nature really wants to blow your house to the ground :( 

On Saturday I had to go out and the weather was so terrible, I contemplated on calling a cab instead. But my host told me not to be such a wuss, put on my rain boots and face the weather like a man. A bit harsh, and inappropriate because I clearly am not a man, duh see what I did there, but well, worth a try! So I went out and.. before I got to the bus stop, my umbrella broke. And my hood was absolutely useless so I just swore and cursed my way to shelter. Even in the shelter (bus stop) I was still getting wet because the winds were really strong.

I arrived at my destination being drenched. Head to toe. Oh except my toes cause I was wearing rain boots (yay). My hair was in a mess, I was shivering and my face screamed homicide. 

I was really upset. Knowing that I have to go through another 5 years of this crap weather, and probably more severe in Scotland. And also cause my umbrella broke. (It was one of those automatic ones and I really loved it :( ) So yes. I have learnt my lesson. ALWAYS BE PREPARED. And.. to be less glum! I mean, I can't do anything about the crap weather, better just brace it I guess!

So today, the weather was worse than Saturday :/ Almost every form of transport was delayed due to the horrible weather. But thankfully I spent most my time at home. Warm and cozy :3 Until I had to go out. And decided to dress up a little since it was dinner with friends I haven't seen in a while (': And I was in a dressy mood. And yes! I learnt my lesson. To always wear head protection (well kinda). Sadly. I didn't think about my dress. And yes. On a windy day, it really isn't the most well thought of plan to say the least.. Unfortunately this wasn't the dumbest decision I've made in 2013, sad to say.

And also! I decided to use the umbrella my hostess gave me for my birthday last year :3

I really seldom use this because the rain just kinda drips down on my legs and feet. Which kinda defeats the purpose of staying dry under the umbrella. But hey, this is England. You're sure to get wet no matter how hard you try :/ And plus! This umbrella is designed in such a way that it would never "flip!"
So yay! Oh and it's also a kid's umbrella. So it was pretty tiny.

It's been a long unproductive night! Merry Christmas my little pumpkins ♥♥♥

Late night thoughts

People tell me I always look down on myself, underestimate myself. And it's not just recently too. It's been going on now, for a couple of years at least and I can honestly say it has ruined one too many relationships between people I truly care about. I mean sometimes it really can't be helped. When I'm around people who are far superior to me, I'd tend to down-play myself by a bit (or maybe a lot).  I also realised the people who I spend my time with either can make or break my confidence.

But you know what, that's just an excuse. It's just a lie I tell myself so I feel the need to not change and remain the same. Change is scary for me, it is scary for everyone, but it is crucial if I want to be a better person. So from now on, I shall no longer push the blame to anyone else. Self confidence comes from within and I cannot keep relying on people to tell me I'm good at this and that. Having a low self esteem upsets me but most importantly it drives away the people closest to me, people who I confide in. 

I recognise for a fact that I am not an entirely useless person (I'm not that bad :S). I do have my strengths and my weaknesses. I am motivated, passionate and determined that someday I will be able to do great things. It may not be something as great as saving the world or finding a cure to cancer, but it will definitely be worth while. I will someday be a vet, and I will change lives, even if it is one animal at a time. It will take a lot of blood, sweat and tears to get to where I want to be, but I am confident, with the grace of God, I will pull through. 

And for now I just wish to tell my fellow readers and friends that change does not happen overnight. If you have a friend who has a really low self esteem, do not give up on them. Do not dismiss them even if you think their negativity is annoying. Sometimes people need a little encouragement and most importantly, someone to support and cheer them on in life to make them a better person.