People tell me I always look down on myself, underestimate myself. And it's not just recently too. It's been going on now, for a couple of years at least and I can honestly say it has ruined one too many relationships between people I truly care about. I mean sometimes it really can't be helped. When I'm around people who are far superior to me, I'd tend to down-play myself by a bit (or maybe a lot). I also realised the people who I spend my time with either can make or break my confidence.
But you know what, that's just an excuse. It's just a lie I tell myself so I feel the need to not change and remain the same. Change is scary for me, it is scary for everyone, but it is crucial if I want to be a better person. So from now on, I shall no longer push the blame to anyone else. Self confidence comes from within and I cannot keep relying on people to tell me I'm good at this and that. Having a low self esteem upsets me but most importantly it drives away the people closest to me, people who I confide in.
I recognise for a fact that I am not an entirely useless person (I'm not that bad :S). I do have my strengths and my weaknesses. I am motivated, passionate and determined that someday I will be able to do great things. It may not be something as great as saving the world or finding a cure to cancer, but it will definitely be worth while. I will someday be a vet, and I will change lives, even if it is one animal at a time. It will take a lot of blood, sweat and tears to get to where I want to be, but I am confident, with the grace of God, I will pull through.
And for now I just wish to tell my fellow readers and friends that change does not happen overnight. If you have a friend who has a really low self esteem, do not give up on them. Do not dismiss them even if you think their negativity is annoying. Sometimes people need a little encouragement and most importantly, someone to support and cheer them on in life to make them a better person.
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