Old T-shirts!

SUP! *fist bump*

I have tired-looking eyes ): Probably cause my eyes could hardly open this morning :/ So tired even though I didn't do much yesterday..

SO! What happened today.. .__.

Mm I followed my mum all the way to Old Klang Road cause she had to pick up documents and she said she'd bring me shopping! So, yaaay :3

Went to this shop lot boutique and found nice colored jeans! So I bought @@ But before that I wore it with this sleeveless top, and realized I liked the top and could make the top myself, just by cutting off the sleeves and collar of a normal T-shirt ._.

SO I WAS INSPIRED TO CUT MY SHIRTS.

Sorry I forgot to take a photo of the shirt I cut before, but the shirts are exactly the same. Yea I used to be damn crazy over Baby Milo shirts when I was 14. I have like, 6 :x Until I realized they were super lala, I stopped wearing them ):

SO! I used it for cutting. lolol.

Tadaaa :D Okay it kinda looks ugly on it's own. But when I put it on it doesn't look too bad!! :DD

Awkward hair clip in the middle of no where ._. And my pink hair is curling a bit d! :D happy happy

Not too bad eh! :D But my dad doesn't like it, he says I should wear it at home, and thats all. :/ He says its a bit TOO casual ):

THE BACK! And a few of my baby photos haha (:

Random thought : I don't wanna be friend zoned ): Does, not, feel, good. ):

Asian peekaboo pink highlights!

Hello! I decided to do something drastic, and super damaging to my hair today @_@ And usually with decisions like this, I tend to take a week or so, tirelessly looking up and down for more photos and proof that "nothing can go wrong" :/

But this time, I just jumped straight in. I totally ignored all possibilities of failure, and went for it! Something I never imagined myself doing, making a decision like this in less than a day -__-

Heck, I'm so scared to cut my hair, and it took about 2 weeks and a lot of convincing from my mum to cut it, but I decided to do this instead. Took me less than 5 hours to decide! HAHA!

SO! I decided to do peekaboo pink highlights!

But first, I needed to bleach my hair to get rid off the pigmentation (: And yea, I'm pointing to the once alive hair. Goodbye dry hair ): Hello DRIER hair ):

First time bleach! Not very obvious, cause my webcam sucks under low light.

Third round of bleaching!

This is my super dry bleached hair :/ The hair is totally dead, and it looks really ugly ): *sighs* oh well. No pain no gain! *dont know how it fits in here. HAHA!

Wanted to take a photo of the hair wrapped up in foil, but it looked a bit obscene. Since all my hair is up and I look like a hobo, and I split my hair into 2 parts. So yea, 2 foiled balls. On a less inappropriate note! I love my curls here :DD

Dead hair with no curls ): Super straight.

Meh I look chubby here. Ignore the roots, super ugly :x But my hair was really light! (: 3 times wor, how to not be light :P ahhaha

Time for colour!

Some white liquid. That didn't come out right... I know that sounds wrong but don't know what else to call it. Forgot what it was called HAHA!
Stir
Stir stir

Mum helped me brush it on (: (: Wrap up with foil again! *prays colour comes out nicely ): See! My mum accidentally drew on my face :P My ear is pink too @_@

And the finished product!! (:

When I push my hair to the back (:

It's even more obvious if I pushed back, but it looks like I dyed half my hair, which is SUPER weird -__- I just wanted a few strands. but well. Drastic! As drastic as I can go!

Aaand, my sucky webcam.. -__- I still hope the colour fades after a few washes! It's not the pink I'd expect it to be ): But in 3/4 months, I'm gonna change the colour again :P Probably gonna stock up on this magical magical powder and bring it to the UK and do it on my own!! :DD

Think I may have did a bit too much hair ): Oh well, can't wait to see what my college mates think of it! (: At least I'm not boring ol' manda again :D

Monkey bit me ):

A cat from the hospital bit me today ): A cat, a cat named Monkey.

Story goes like this,

Monkey is a cat. Super playful, but incredibly intelligent .__. He's able to open his own cage, and let himself out, with no help, at all .__. And when he's bored "kacau-ing" all the other sick cats in the ward, he'll climb up to his cage, the highest one, and stay there. .__. super hyper too! When I take him out to play, he wouldn't wanna sink into my arms like normal cats. He'd climb up to my shoulder and walk downwards 90 degrees till he reaches the ground @@

So today, Monkey let himself out, as usual. And he started running round the cat ward, so I closed the door so he won't run outside and disturb the dogs (God knows what would happen -__-) . Then he ran to a corner, beside the cage of this super fierce cat. And by fierce I don't mean MEOW fierce, more of the HISSSSSS fierce :/ Always showing teeth and clawing the animal technicians there :/ super scary cat. Even the head vet, told the owner to come and collect the cat because it might cause even more trouble :/ too late for me ahhaha

So the super fierce cat was hissing at Monkey and Monkey was scared, but curious -__- *shakes head. So he went closer so I tried to catch Monkey to put him back into his cage. Buttttt, I didn't hold him by his neck cause I thought he wouldn't be dangerous, I hugged him and picked him up. Aaand, he bit me. ):

The upside is I was at the hospital, so they were used to giving first aid :P So.. free bandage and iodine! Hahaha the brown brown patches are iodine and if you look closer you can see where the cat sank his teeth in ): This is after the wash and iodine, before this, you could actually see the white bits under my skin. I wonder whats that :/ Cant be bones cause its not THAAT deep. So, might be tissue, could it be? Gaah I wish I knew more ): And if I did know more, could have avoided the bite -__- I wish I knew how to handle animals properly ): I mean I see the technicians do it all the time, but I never get a hands on :/ Probably my chances of handling would decrease after this incident -__-

It's so unlike me

Hello!

At the end of the previous post I promised to blog bout why I post self-portrait photos of myself on my blog. Well, if you've noticed, I've hardly ever posted any self-taken photos in my older posts, like old, OLD posts :/ Probably cause my mum sort of convinced me the internet is filled with sick guys who masturbate to photos of girls on social websites. And I'm pretty sure people still do that :/ But after realizing that my blog is like,

(Ignore the caption above)

I decided to upload more photos of myself! After all, it is MY blog :/ So yea, that's reason #1.

Reason #2!

I feel insecure. And you might get really annoyed at the fact that 75% of the time I blog about me being insecure :/ But that's how I really feel, and this is the only place I dare to express myself. If I tweet too much, people might think I'm overly LOA, Facebook is just an invitation for stalkers and I cant keep updating my friends about my problems and opinions cause everyone has their own problems, right? And I know it sounds selfish, but I always try to make myself problem-free whenever I have to listen to other people's problems. And when I'm faced with problems of my own, I'd find it hard to listen to other people's problems. On most ocassions I get very annoyed and I'd have nothing to say in the end. Hey, everyone has their own level of tolerance, mind you. And after being such a hermit in UK for so long, my tolerance level has evidently decreased.

Wait, the previous paragraph has nothing to do with me being insecure ._.

I feel insecure cause I have this constant ringing inside my head about not being skinny enough or not being pretty enough for society. Lets start with the skinny.

My definition of skinny, is the ability to show a bare tummy in public. Other people might have their own definition of skinny, but this is mine. In UK, I consider myself small, cause we barely barely get to show skin due to the dry and cold weather. Even in the summer, the most I go for is a pair of shorts and sleeveless. Unlike some of my friends who go for the bare tummy, I can't. But none the less, I feel happy in UK. Because my friends never compare fats, or call me skinny/fat. They just call me small. And I like being called small!

Back home, I feel like a whale. And although I feel very happy when people tell me I lost weight, there's this part of me that feels I'm still not good enough. Especially when skinny people take a photo/ make a random comment saying they look fat, I get very hurt. It used to be worse, I used to get all worked up, and hold it in until I go to sleep, and forgetting about it the next day. I would get very very angry at people who call themselves fat when in truth they're not. "If you're fat, then what am I??". But now, I just ignore. And how's it going for me? Very well. I actually manage to look past it and move on. I no longer feel sorry for myself, I just feel sorry for the other people out there who are bigger sized than me. How would they feel if they heard you say things like that? I know some girls who're not to the skinny side who simply detest skinny people who call themselves fat. Even though I'm not yet that extreme, I totally get where they're coming from.

About being pretty, I'm on the fence about the debate of "natural beauty is better" and "makeup enhances your features". Yes, I do agree that make-up is a great invention, and most of the times I'm very very tempted to use it. But I also agree that natural beauty is better. Call me weird, but once I tried to edit a webcam-taken photo of myself, I deleted all the pimple scars. IT FELT GOOD! I stared at myself in vain, for a very long time, and I remember thinking to myself, omg, I wish I could edit and delete my face in real life too. Then as I looked at it long enough, I uploaded the ones with pimple scars. Crazy as it sounds, I just didn't like the edited me. Sure! I'd be damn glad to get rid of my pimple scars in real life, using ample amounts of medicine and skin-repair cream. But not this way. Goes the same for make-up too. Many times I was tempted to wear concealer to college, to cover-up all the ugly scars. And probably when college reopens I would. I know it's a form of lying to myself, just like the photo editing, but I want to feel pretty ): Is that really that much to ask for?

And sometimes I wonder whether this insecurity stems from the fact that I'm single.

And by the way, before you start saying I'm a hypocrite and all, let me admit that sometimes I may be. Oh and about being fat/skinny issue? I'll let you in on a little secret. According to my BMI, I'm borderline obese.

It's about time!

HELLO MALAYSIA!!

Okay, I've been back for about 2 weeks, but I haven't blogged cause.. I was KIND OF lazyyy :/ Will update bout my week in the hospital soon. And hopefully I'll be using my phone to blog soon!! :DD So.. Till then!

And yea, I keep adding photos of myself lately :/ Will tell you why later ):

Camwhoring with the webcam

I'm just really bored and I can't find my iPhone USB cable so I can't upload photos ):

I feel pathetic and lonely -___-" I wanna go home ): ):

A lazy Sunday afternoon

BORED BORED BORED. So I decided to play with my amazingly-clear-for-a-laptop-webcam webcam :P

Should have went to the park with the boys ): *lazy

Puberty?

I'm surprisingly awake for a person who woke up at 4 this morning .___. And nooo, I didn't purposely wake up at 4, the brightness woke me up ): Yup, it's the summer here, SORT OF. And the sun rises pretty early here, so yeaaa :/ And I purposely left the blinds open cause I'm afraid I'd be late for school, so the sun is like my "indicator"

Promised my sister I'd blog bout Patrick Stump, but that rant shall be left for another day (: For nowwwww, I just feel like talking about my new wallpaper *audience yawns*

It used to be this, and I really really love it that way!!

But after yesterday, after me and James watched Up, the Disney show bout the grandpa and the little scout boy, and after crying (-___-) AGAIN, I realized I needed to grow up ):

I can't be a kid forever ): And even though the Stitch wallpaper makes me smile every time! I think it's time for a change (':

HOW CAN YOU SAY NO TO THIS <3

And yea, sorry for the ugly grey borders, I just don't wanna stretch his beautiful beautiful face ;)

No, I'm not hoping he'll be my future husband or whatsoever :/ I'm not THAT obsessed ._. I just find him really really gorgeous <3 *sighs helplessly. I think I have a thing for sepet guys ): ):

Goodnight! x

Picture update from the farm! (:

Let's start from the reptile room! I'll just add tiny illustrations at the bottom cause its freaking 12.57am , and I'm tired ):

Leopard gecko!

The gorgeous snake I played with for an hour (':

Axolotls .__________. *shivers

The highly dangerous curly haired tarantula :/

LETS GO OUTSIDE!

Sheep. ._. and poo!

More sheep, and more poo.

Lamb! <3 BAAAA (:

Hahahahaha! Didn't realize I got the sign that said "Ponies may bite" in the shot xD This is Alfie, the pony that got me my scratches cause I cut myself while trying to climb over the fence :/

Dee, the female Shetland pony! (:

Dylan the (evil) ram! Don't be fooled by it's cute innocent eyes! ):

YEA THAT'S IT, YOU'D BETTER RUN!

NGEMBEKKKKK :) It has scary eyes ):
Goldie/Patches! (: Oink ._. Yes, I'm well aware this disrupts all the wonderful images of pigs in your head. And yes I know, I thought they were cute and pink with twisted tails at their behind too :/

The boots that were made for walking... in poo.

Beautiful ain't it (: (: Was in a rush so the colours a bit weird :/ At the same time, trying to take a good photo without using Automatic HAHA! It really reminded me of Jurassic Park! The place I would want my future husband to bring me every weekend :PP HAHA

SHAVED(Saved) THE BEST FOR LAST! HAHAHAH! AREN'T THEY HILARIOUS!? I feel so bad for them :P

Third day ; Don't piss off animals with horns and hooves

Today there were more volunteers/students who came in (: So we split up the jobs and got it done pretty quickly! Plus, the farm was closed today so somehow or rather, the jobs got done a lot quicker :P

The highlight of the day though was alpaca sheering! :D

And for those of you who don't know what an alpaca is,

You're welcome.

And no they're not llamas, though they come from the same family, Camelidae, which is obviously the "camel" family. Hence, the funny looking faces and weirded shaped bodies.

They're pretty much like giraffes, except less cuter and much more, stumpy.

Yeah just cause they look silly and less intimidating compared to like, fully grown horses or buffaloes, doesn't mean they can't hurt people. Heck, sheering them was so difficult, cause it takes a lot of effort and energy just to pin them down.

The whole team of like 5 people took 10 minutes pinning the bigger one down, and it was so scary cause she kicks pretty hard and one blow could give you stitches right away :/ Might even push you back to a wall or any sharp corners :x Once it was down, they had to tie the 4 legs and everyone had to hold one corner, and it was so tiring for em, one had to hold the head down too. I just stood and watch for the first one :P Every time the guy sheered a bit off, she would squirm and kick, which was so scary to watch, cause she was pretty huge and she was very very VERY strong :/

It took them a whole 50 minutes to get everything done, and when she stood up, we all laughed cause she looked so silly :P Basically she looked like an overgrown poodle, cause they couldn't sheer her legs and tail, so you can imagine how weird she looked :P

Then we went for lunch break cause it was so tiring for everyone else... but me :P And I made new friends! FINALLY! :D They came to sit with me while I was eating, so nice T-T Cause I've been eating alone for the past 2 days :/ Was beginning to feel so lonely on the farm ): They were really nice and were so surprised when I told them it was my first time volunteering on an actual farm, and that I was 18 -__- They must have thought I lived under a rock all this while. And I can imagine one my college mates saying "Yea, you do live under a rock, it's called, Malaysia?" *shrugs*

After lunch, we sheered the previous alpaca's son, named Comet! :D oh btw, her name was Tinkerbell. So cute! (: Comet was much easier cause he was smaller, but he caught us off guard and kicked the guy in charge in the face :/ ouch. .__. it turned red like immediately :/ Oh and this time I got to help! :D by holding the wire ._. ...... IT'S STILL HELPING! D:

One of the students took a video of it and it was 45 minutes long -_- So I didn't bother taking one cause my phone camera sucks and it'll probably look shitty anyways. I'm just illustrating how it went (: And at the beginning it was pretty funny cause the alpacas just stared at us, and when we said, RIGHT! Time to go bald. The mum used her back leg to kick the wall as though saying, "damn." Ahh, how adorable.

Nothing much, picked up poo again, bla bla bla. Time to collect all the water buckets and food bowls! Went into the ponies pen, and the fierce pony that bites people, Alfie, blocked the gate and tried to bite me when I stopped him from coming out -_- so I had to climb over the fence :/ Then I had to collect the water bowl from the ram and the alpacas. Alpacas were okay cause they're very shy and they run away when you come close to em. Ram? Not so much. Once I stepped into the pen, the ram head butted me in the leg. It was so damn painful -_- My leg went numb for a while and I had to sit down till it didn't hurt so much. He was SO STRONG ): And his horns were so big -_- I wanted to whack it so badly! But I was too afraid it might turn round and head butt me again -__-

Oh yeah! And today I learnt that pythons, stink. Like, they really REALLY smell bad. I would rather pick up goat poop, than python poop.

Note to self, never go into a ram pen, without back-up.

My second day ; Less painful!

Today wasn't much different from yesterday (: But I was scared I'd be late today so I woke up early and took the super early bus. Turns out I was 1 hour earlier -___- the heck!

So I just sat on the bench and played Temple Run, like every other normal anti-social Asian person.

Did the normal stuff, but this time I got to see the animals run into the pens from their stables, and it was pretty cool, especially the ponies, they like gallop into the pens so quickly cause they have food there :P The lambs were running too, bleating and running at the same time :P The goats a bit sesat. HAHAHAH! (Sesat meaning lost in Malay) :P ahhaha! It was like bumping into each other and the metal bars *facepalms* And to be honest, goats scare me :/ They're just kinda scary when they stare blankly at you :/ Can't imagine working on a goat farm now ): ): BUT I STILL HOPE TO DO IT WHEN I GO BACK :DD

Mm nothing much, mucking up wasn't too bad cause I was SORT of getting the hang of it. Did it in a pretty short time B) Then went into the Reptile room and they let me handle the adult corn snake! (: (Though they're not really that big)

Sorry this is like a google image cause again, but the colours and the size(Okay maybe a bit bigger) looked exactly like the one i handled! I didn't wanna take photos and be like one of those, OH YEA LOOK IM VOLUNTEERING, I'M LIKE, SOOOO COOL? *bimbo voice* just to get comments like, oh my amanda, you're so nice and all those shit. *I kid you not, they're people like that, and they piss me off* And I'm only putting up "journal posts" cause writing a diary seems too short for me now :/ Like I have so many things to say, but so few lines!

And the most exciting part is, I played with her for like an hour plus! And little kids just come up to me like, CAN I TOUCH IT (in a super adorable British accent) And I'd go okay sure, stroke it gently! And they're like, touch, giggle giggle, touch again, MUMMMYYYYY! I WANNA GET A CORN SNAKE TOOOOOOO! Mum says no, they whine. TOTALLY LIKE ME! I would whine if my mum wouldn't let me get one, which would be most likely cause I doubt my parents would be comfortable with a snake in the house, since we Chinese people say a lot of bad stuff bout snakes, how evil and cunning they are and stuff :/ There's even a superstition, that if you play musical instruments at night, the snakes will come. And I had to follow that "rule" ever since I was a kid, until I got to like Grade 8, and I was busy with school work and tuitions back when I was 16, and I had no choice but to play the piano at night :/

So yes, I got to play with snakes. She wrapped her body round me and tried to squeeze me but since she's so silky and smooth, she just slid right off :P

Oh andd! I got to feed a snake with a dead mouse! :D I just dangled the mouse with a pair of clippers in front of it, and in like 2 seconds, it struck the mouse. IT HAPPENED SO FAST, I just opened the door, put it in front of it, BOOM! It was gone. So so quick! SO AMAZING!

But what I learnt that was really interesting was how it strikes it's prey. First it sees the prey, then the snake closes its eyes, and then it solely relies on its heat sensors to catch the prey. It actually closed its eyes before it strikes! Which I think is so cool @_@

Dum dum dum, got scratched by ferrets :/ Still having the red scars on my arms. Nothing much!

Goodnight! (: